I just returned from vacation to Ohio. Why Ohio? Well, of course, I did spend quite a few years there growing up, and my folks still live there, and there is a college there I was interested in visiting. I did visit it, in fact, and it was pretty nice.
How keen am I to be living in the colder climates again? SO KEEN. YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY KNOW HOW KEEN I AM ON THIS.
Yet, there are economic concerns involved, and I'm wondering if I wouldn't just be better to do an online degree at a school that offers an online degree in what I want to study, say, maybe with a scholarship for all of my hard work... after all, this is just finishing up my undergrad... right... right??? I mean, no one really cares where you go to your undergrad, right? RIGHT?????
......
Let me share this idea - I'm not entirely sure how this vision appears in my head as the wife and I have no plans to (read: plan not to) have kids, but I picture myself in my mid-to-late 40's sitting and discussing the idea of college with a kid, say 15 or 16 who appears to display a genetic resemblance to me, just unravelling the mysteries of "their future" and in this vision I'm explaining to them why, when I had been so keen on attending a top school or really hip lib-arts place, I settled for what made a variety of financial sense at the time when I was considering it... and then I picture myself as the 15 or 16 year-old and think of the older me as being sad somehow, as though he missed out on a great opportunity. Also, I am slightly angry because I can no longer apply to an Ivy League school as a legacy, and thus will have a slightly reduced chance at being able to attend. Come to think of it, I'm downright pissed at older me. Bastard.
But younger me... you have to understand... back then we were in a recession, and no one was sure if they could even get a loan to go to those sorts of schools... and we were so concerned about our financial states. I mean, we had a house and stuff, tiny as it was, and jobs, and all sorts of things were going right... and Lesley wasn't even sure she'd be able to find a job where we were going to go, and there was no way I could work and go to school full time. It was a big risk, you know, and it just didn't make sense in light of everything...
Shut it old man, you're making excuses and I don't even know what recession means so quite bla-bla-bla-ing at me like you are some sort of annoying duck that wants to justify his actions! Ducks don't justify anything! They have a slick back off of which things slide, and I know that fact from my data pad! Now, I will utilize the incrementally shortened attention span the youth of the future have and I shall tune you out now and go play ultra-games on my face-computer.
Younger me... if only I could explain or somehow put it in context, but alas, I cannot and that pains me so.
...
For the future non-existent children I must someday justify myself to, I do not feel I should compromise, people! That is totally sane, and not at all weird or unstable to think that, either. Trust me. I know. I whisper secrets to myself.
